For a short time I was blogging at a FemDom (FinDom) site, and the newest blog posts were streaming on the home page. What I saw was a virtual non-stop litany of complaints about “bad subs” and “losers”. On occasion I visit other BDSM forums and networking websites, and it’s common to see the same type of atmosphere. One rather well known one had blog post after blog post of how “bad” submissives were, to the point this person “wasn’t going to do Financial Domination any more because of the losers and time wasters” (Really? You’d allow submissive men to dictate your actions as a domme?!).
As I’ve said all throughout My femDom FinDom blog, I have virtually nothing to complain about. I don’t attract many “bad” subs. Or I have so many good subs, I don’t pay attention to the few bad subs. Once I hang up the phone, a bad submissive loser is nonexistent in My perfect FemDom world. I forget about him forever. If he calls again, I have no clue who he is.
But in the interest of identifying a “loser” or bad submissive, or “kinkster” as I call them from the authentic good submissive man, I thought I’d add My experience in order for all the submissive men who read this, to be enlightened.
So what is a good submissive? What is a bad submissive?
For Me, it comes down to two basic groups: The willing and responsive, or the unwilling and unresponsive.
Not all men will immediately drop to their knees and “submit” to a powerful woman. I don’t have a problem with this. In fact, I prefer it when a sub wants to get to know Me at first contact. When a sub is curious about Me, My thoughts and My personal approach to Domination and control, I can get to know whether or not he will be of good use to Me. I don’t bother trying to force men to serve Me who are only concerned about their needs. I don’t have time for that. I’ll take their money, and move on to the next.
However, if it’s the kind of sub male who is searching for the unobtainable, the “perfect” domme, he will likely never find her. Or the “jaded” sub, fetishist or kinkster, who puts the pressure on, to “thrill him unlike any domme has ever done before”, or come up with something he’s never heard of. These are often men who have been “in the scene” for many years, always looking for the latest, greatest kink to titillate their needs. I discourage these thrill seekers very quickly, and they are disposed of. I’m unwilling to act as a trick pony. As a submissive it’s your job to thrill Me.
The unwilling and the unresponsive submissive man.
I’ve just given two examples of what I consider the “bad” or “poor” male sub.
Unwilling are those who resist submitting, even if they say they want to submit. I find that men who are self-described “switches” are almost never submissive. In fact, they are always passive-aggressive. They are unwilling to submit, because deep down, they just don’t have it in them. They like the idea of being Dominated, they like the distraction of it, but I find they try to top from the bottom every time. Whether they realize it or not, they come off as sarcastic, self important and never being able to fall into that blissful subspace. I’m unwilling to try and force them.
But these are so few, and so far between in My world, I have virtually nothing to complain about. I don’t get many “bad” subs. But if you can identify with any of these traits, you might want to reevaluate what it is you are seeking, and what it means to be submissive. How do I deal with these “bad” submissive men? No, I don’t hang up on them, I milk their money. Because I’m still going to use you to My advantage, regardless.
There are also those fantasy seekers that I prefer not to deal with. The subbie who wants the fantasy of Financial Domination but never engages in Financial Domination. Or the submissive who toys with the idea of being blackmailed, but never actually has any intention of playing blackmail. I’m far more experienced and advanced for those kind of fantasy role play scenarios. They do virtually nothing for Me. I don’t necessarily consider these “bad” subs, merely not in My league. I’ll engage them in some conversation, but the moment I determine they only want a fantasy, I disengage pretty quickly.
The willing and responsive submissive man.
The willing sub is curious about Me. He wants to know My thoughts about Domination, what I like or don’t like, to hear about My experiences. He has, at the very least, enthusiasm to talk with Me. He wants to know what makes Me excited, what turns Me on. He’s not jerking his cock from the moment we start talking, he asks for permission if he feels excited. He is courteous, respectful, uses common sense. Doesn’t interrupt when I am speaking, doesn’t act annoying such as bring up his “old domme” or “the women who used to Dominate me “over and over again, on and on and on (because really, who cares whose god damn boots you used to lick?), yet he doesn’t mind if I mention the thousands of subs I Dominate. It is, after all, My world you are stepping into.
He is open and willing to want to please Me. Not by word, but by action. He pays attention, he listens, he remembers. He will know and share some of the things he likes, or at the very least, what he doesn’t like. He lets the conversation flow, even away from Domination topics. In fact, he wants to know Me outside of only Domination There is a whole lot more to Me than being a Domina, and the man who recognizes this gets My attention.
He will strive to impress Me, make Me laugh, show his appreciation by tribute or feedback comments or any number of ways to help build My FemDom empire. Other than gifting Me in big cash ways, one of the most flattering things a submissive man can do, is enhance My FemDom business in whatever ways he can think of, or that I direct him to do. This, in addition to those cash tributes, scores huge points with Me.
The responsive sub goes hand in hand with the willing. He isn’t afraid to be open and vulnerable to Me, once he gets to know Me. (This often happens within minutes). When he feels himself getting weak under My control, I know it. His voice drops, his breathing becomes quick and shallow. I know he is getting weak.
If I tell him to call Me back at a higher rate and play a game of raise the rate, he does so immediately. He will have his account loaded before he calls so as not to interrupt us, he will load his account so that he might tribute Me, or session long enough to make it worth My while. He doesn’t hang up in the middle of his orgasm (if allowed), or worse, in the middle of what I am saying. He doesn’t feel he has to rush and hang up the moment he’s had his orgasm. He will remain courteous after, and even continue to talk to Me. In other words, his submission wasn’t a means to get himself off, which vanishes as soon as his balls are unloaded.
I never mind sessions with men who are brand new to Domination, as long as they are willing and responsive. I have wonderful subs who range in age from about mid 20’s to gents in their 70’s. Not all the men I Dominate are wealthy men. While I’d prefer it, a most willing and responsive sub who sacrifices as much as he can for Me, matters. Whether or not I’ll have you obtaining bank loans, running up credit card debt or tapping into accounts you didn’t plan on is another story. Men simply do these things willingly and of their own accord for Me.
Because this is online distance training, you are unable to actually rub My feet or take Me shopping. Tributes are the way to do these things for Me. Know that the exchange of power of money from you to Me greatly pleases Me. And I am accustomed to men giving Me a lot of money. Is this a requirement from all subbies who connect with Me? No. But sacrificing for Me, for My pleasure? I’m sure you will strive to please Me too, once you talk to Me, and see why so many men indulge Me already.
The basics. The difference between the “bad” submissive man and the “good” submissive man. Common sense, really. The better you are, the more you work to please Me, the more you strive to make Me happy, the more I will be inspired to Dominate you in all the ways you ever desired.
Want to know specific ways to please Me? These are exceptionally important.
Does this resonate with you? Then connect with Me now.
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